


Let's stop running from love, let's stop my baby

by tastinglove



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: 3 Things, Canon Compliant, First Dates, Idiots in Love, M/M, Missing Scene, Stolen Moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-07-25 20:06:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16204721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tastinglove/pseuds/tastinglove
Summary: 3 more times Harry says 'I love you'





	1. 1

He goes over to James’ apartment the next day. Ste busy with Leah’s homework, moaning about how the school year has barely started and how he already barely has any free afternoons anymore because her workload keeps piling up. It fits Harry perfectly. He should feel bad about even thinking that, quickly realizes he doesn’t. He knows they’ll be distracted for hours with that geometry sheet he saw earlier and he’s pretty sure Leah has been lying about being up do date with her reading as well.

It’s slightly chilly outside, early autumn finally making itself known. He feels comfortable in his soft blue jacket, but he’ll be even happier once he’s inside again. And that’s definitely not just because of the warmth.

As he rings the bell, the familiar feeling of content and excitement settles in his stomach. When the door opens, he’s practically bouncing up and down on his feet. James looks as handsome as over – okay, maybe even more – with his beard and dark blue button up. There’s a smile on his face and Harry is pretty sure the wideness of it matches his own.

‘Hey.’ James’ greeting is soft, but he can feel the joy radiating off of him. Harry steps into the flat, their arms and shoulders brushing.

‘Hey yourself.’ He follows it up by kissing him on the cheek, just because he can. Pulling off his jacket, he folds it over the back of the couch like he’s at home. He doesn’t dwell on that thought too long. Doesn’t allow himself, quite yet.

‘I just put the kettle on. There’s this nice, super special hot chocolate mix in my cupboard that I haven’t tried yet. Fancy a cup of that?’ The first week of their affair had basically only consisted of sex. Often several rounds a day. Not only because they both seemed to have an intense amount of pent up sexual frustration for eachother that they were finally able to let go of...but also because he knew that as long he pretended this was only carnal, physical desire....he'd be save from the Nightingale charm. Oh boy was he wrong. Harry would pull on his clothes afterwards and practically sprint out of his bedroom. But then on day seven, James grasped his arm before he could leave and offered to make him some late dinner. There had been a split second where he wanted to say no…but in the end he had only nodded dumbly. The next morning, he came over with fresh scones and James’ smile had been everything. The rest, as they say, is history. Now their time spent together is a glorious mix of casual domestic bliss and other pleasure. Harry feels pretty damn spoiled.

'Mh. Sounds great. Whipped cream on top?’ James slowly walks over to him, his hands settling on Harry’s waist, rubbing soothing circles with the pads of his thumbs.

‘How could I ever say no to that face?’, his soft voice sends tingles through Harry’s entire body, James’ left hand coming up to stroke his cheek and the crinkles next to his eye. Neither of them comment on the blush spreading on his face.

‘Maybe you’re just trying to fatten me up and keep me here forever. Very suspicious behavior, Mr. Nightingale.’ It’s easy between them. This teasing and back and forth that lifts the weight off of his shoulders and makes him feel alive again.

‘Would that be so bad? Keeping you here forever?’ His tone and the mood around them change only ever so slightly but it’s enough to make him weak in his knees.

‘No. Not bad at all.’, he manages to get out. Sincerity in his eyes and voice.

Like magnets, they’re both leaning closer, lips about to touch….when the kettle goes off. Harry jumps slightly, James tightening his grip on him.

‘I’ll go get the kettle, you go get that chocolate. Team work?’ He raises his eyebrows playfully. Stepping backwards towards the kitchen, the older man lets go of him reluctantly.

‘I suppose we do make a good team.’ Harry gets two cups. There’s one he’s used several times he’s been over now. It’s a pale pink mug, imprinted with delicate ridges and dots decorating the upper part near the rim. He loves it. Loves that there’s something in this apartment that unspokenly feels like it belongs to him, like he’s made a little space for himself here.

Setting it on the counter along with James’ favourite, a dark forest green one with what he has been told is a beloved chipped spot at the handle, he feels his boyfriend slide up behind him. And what a word. Boyfriend. He feels giddy just thinking about it.

James is warm and solid against his back and Harry watches as he scoops deliciously smelling dark chocolate powder into their cups. Unfortunately, he has to step away to get the whipped cream and actually finish their drinks but they’re settled on the sofa soon enough.

_____________________________________________________________________

Thighs and shoulders touching, a soft dark purple quilt thrown over their laps and what Harry is pretty sure is a rerun of Jurassic Park 1 and 2 on tv. The silence between them is comfortable, James occasionally stroking his fingers when he’s not taking sips of the hot beverage. Harry in return pressing their feet together.

The hot choclate indeed tastes incredible, rich and creamy with just a hint of spice to it. The whipped cream, made of coconut milk, is heavily fluffy and silky in his mouth.  He licks his lips and puts his cup down on the coaster again. Leaning back against the counch, he sees James staring at him out of the corner of his eye.

‘Not a dinosaur fan?’, he asks jokingly.

‘Wouldn’t go that far….It’s just that I have something much more interesting to look at right next to me.’ He loves this side of James, always has. This flirty side that makes him feel like the most precious thing in the room.

‘Also’, he continues – drawing in closer towards Harry – ‘You have something here.’ James’ finger reaches out to wipe away what must be some leftover cream from the corner of his lip. Harry thinks about what else those fingers have done, what other places of his body they’ve touched and caressed like no one else before, and he has to hold back a tiny moan. It’s futile anyway though, because James ends up sucking the sticky sweetness from his thumb, his soft pink lips wrapping arount the finger.

And as the kitchen scene of Jurassic Park starts playing in the background, he thinks ‘fuck it’ and leans over to kiss him. His hand cups his cheek, James’ immediately moves to his waist. His mouth is warm and pliant, he can taste the chocolate from his tongue and maybe that’s even an improvement on the flavour. As their movements become deeper, more erratic with Harry pulling on James’ lip with his teeth and James’ other hand making its way down to his butt…he suddenly feels like there’s something bubbling up inside of him that he needs to say before this goes further…and god does he want this to go further later on.

Pulling back, staring down at James’ kiss-swollen lips – wondering what his own must look like – and seeing how the small strand of saliva breaks between them makes him want to capture this moment and frame it forever. He feels like he already has a mental catalogue of memories with James, situations he flicks through whenever they’re not together.

‘I love you.’, he blurts out. It’s strange how it feels both familiar and foreign to him. He’s thought it a million times. When he was with James and when he wasn’t. Alone at night when it practically consumed him. He had never said it out loud before yesterday. Too scary. Too true. And now it’s still a bit scary, in a different way. But never too true. It’s just true enough and just exactly what he needs James to know, always.

The older man’s eyes are wide and glossy, pupils still blown from their kiss. He looks gorgeous like this and Harry is so _so_ in love with him. James was surprised when he heard his confession yesterday and he still seems shocked to hear it now. Did he think he’d never hear get to hear it? Or maybe that Harry would only say it once? It hurts him to think that he put James in that mindset, makes a vow to himself to tell him all the ‘I love you’s’ from now on until he’s sick of it.

‘I love you, too.’, James answers. His voice both strong and soft. His hand, now paused on Harry’s hip bone, is a calming presence and the words wash over him like a blanket. He feels enveloped in all of this, these three words, James’ touch and these feelings of his own that are finally out in the open.

They both chuckle a bit shyly and the other man is about to lean in for him again when Harry decides to be a tease.

‘My hot chocolate will go cold.’, he says while pouting his lip.

 James snorts. ‘I’ll make you another one later on.’ Harry holds him back playfully by pushing his hand against his firm chest.

‘I really want to finish Jurassic Park, haven’t seen it in a while, ya know?’ He subconsciously starts rubbing his fingers over James’ collarbone. They’re both barely suppressing their grins now and eventually James does pull back – but his hand once again slides down further to rest on the curve of his ass. He really doesn’t mind.

‘Maybe I’m not a dinosaur fan after all.’ This time Harry doesn’t hold back his laugh, but he hides it in the crook of his boyfriend’s neck instead, making sure to leave a kiss there before he actually focuses on the movie.


	2. 2

It’s two weeks later and just stopping to drizzle rain outside. It’s early, barely past 8 am, and he had been woken up by Tony and Ste. Apparently Ste had found someone down south interested in sponsoring his food truck at an upcoming festival. And since Ste considers Tony a business genius, they decided to go talk to him together. In honesty Harry was glad about it – not about being woken up this early, no – but about not playing any role in this latest random career adventure. It would make things easier afterwards. Afterwards. Code name for ‘after the wedding doesn’t go through’. He hasn’t had the guts to mention it yet. Dropping hints here and there about how ‘Maybe we should wait until we have more money, Ste’ and ‘Perhaps we could postpone until next spring. I’d like a spring wedding.’ He knows he’s just buying time, ok? He knows. He also knows he won’t have any family support to count once when he calls it off. Tony gets ridiculously excited whenever he gets into the topic of the wedding buffet. Harry just lets him mumble on about it, but sometimes he wants to slap a hand over his mouth and scream ’I’m in love with a man who’s not my fiancé and I’m not even sorry about it anymore.’ He’ll get there eventually.

October has just begun and the days are aleady getting ridiculously short, which explains the darkness still lingering outside. Though the street lamps make for quite the romantic scenery. Which honestly is reflecting his mood quite perfectly.

His eyes may still look a bit tired and his stomach is asking for some breakfast – or coffee, mostly coffee – but he feels giddy thinking about today’s plans. When James had mentioned a couple days ago that he would really like to take him on a proper first date and a nice day out, Harry had been barely able to contain his joy.

_______________________________________________________________________

_‘I know this really nice French restaurant, like an hour away from here. They serve some of the best quiche aux légumes you’ll ever eat. And their wine selection really is to die for.’ Brief flashes of James spoon feeding him crème brûlée come to mind, Harry could slowly let his hand move up the older man’s thigh under the table….any maybe that’s just a tiny bit too much for a first date. He’ll shelve the ideas for the second one._

_Stepping closer towards his partner and trapping him slightly against the kitchen island, Harry softly grabs him by the lapels and smacks a short kiss onto his lips._

_‘As much as it is hot to see you showing off….Why don’t we go somewhere…’outside’ outside?’, gesticulating a bit wildly with his arms – hoping James will get what he means. The smirk he gets in return seems understanding but also like he’s in a teasing mood._

_‘Didn’t pick you for a nature boy.’ He slings his arms around Harry’s middle, huddling them closer together._

_'I’m really not.’, he snorts. ‘Buuuut…it would be nice to…be really public for once, you know?’ They both have their guards down around eachother these days, and the soft surprise on James’ face makes his heart skip a beat._

_‘It would be. So, since you have me wrapped around your gorgeous little finger anyway…where can I sweep you away to?’_

_He only thinks for a second before he blurts out ‘The zoo.’_

_‘The zoo?’ James’ eyebrows rise only ever so slightly but the smile on his face stays in tact._

_‘I know it’s kind of…childish, or whatever-‘_

_‘It’s not.’ Harry has never really thought too much about their age difference. One might think it’d be a bigger deal between them but…it’s just never been a **thing,** you know? So if he sometimes feels inexperienced or naïve, he now knows that James would never mock him for it. If anything, it has been a pleasure on all acounts to learn a couple new things from and with his boyfriend….James’ bedroom has made for an excellent learning space in the last couple weeks. _

_‘I’ve just never really…been to the zoo? Maybe like once on a class trip or something and you can probably guess that neither of my parents were ones super invested doing stuff like that so…Yeah. I’d love to go. I’d love to go with **you**.’ _

_James takes his hand and presses an incredibly soft kiss to his knuckles._

_‘I’m honoured to be your first.’ That smug grin earns him a slap on his shoulder, Harry thinks it’s well deserved. ‘Chester Zoo it is then.’_

_He bites his bottom lip but in the end lets the huge smile break out all over his face, his cheeks squishing up so much that he must look ridiculous._

_'I’ve heard it’s really pretty in autumn, with all the leafs on the path ways and everything.’_

_‘Got myself a proper romantic boyfriend, haven’t I?’ Harry reaches out to rub his thumb back and forth over the left side of James’ chest, slightly lowering his gaze as he feels the blush settle high on his cheeks._

_‘Only for you.’, he murmurs. A hand grabs his chin, pulling his face upwards again – locking their eyes._

_‘You’re cute.’ In the next moment their lips meet again, James’ beard a comfortable scratch against his own skin._

__________________________________________________________________________

He meets his other half a couple streets away, James waiting in his midnight blue BMW. As soon as he’s sat down on the leather seat, he can feel that the heating has been put on – probably specifically for him, since James knows how easily he gets cold. Even put on warmer sheets on his bed the other day. _‘Don’t get me wrong, I love your obsession with cuddling…uh uh, don’t even bother denying it…but I’d prefer not worrying about you freezing to death anyway.’_

‘Good morning’, he announces before leaning over and kissing him on the corner of his mouth.

‘Mh. It is indeed a good morning now.’ His hand briefly squeezes Harry’s knee before going back to the gear stick. ‘You ready to go?’

‘Yep.’

They stop at a small bakery on their way, ordering cappucinos in styrofoam cups (James chuckling as Harry immediately warms his hands on his) and two custard croissants. When he licks some of the pastry residue off of his fingers in the car James can’t help but let out a groan and an ‘You’re obscene.’

He recognizes the music coming out of the speakers hooked up James’ phone – his Vivaldi playlist. _‘I will not ride you to Bach playing in the background, James. There’s just no way’ ‘But Mozart? Requiem has a really nice…build up…to the climax.’_ Appropriately the Autumn part of Four Seasons starts playing and Harry is in too much of a good mood to even pretend to hate classical music anymore.

When they arrive, the car park is mostly empty, the time of day not really making it a tourist hot spot. The scenery is already better than he had imagined, crowns of trees making up an arcade of reds, oranges, browns and fading greens.

‘Thank you.’, he says, turning towards James, ‘You know, for taking me here.’

‘Don’t thank me yet. What if the zebras are still grumpy? What if the monkeys throw their breakfast at you? 

‘What if you shut up?’ James’ arm has found its way on top of Harry’s shoulder, meaning he only has to lean back a couple more inches so he can catch his mouth in a kiss. Their lips move against eachother, always a perfectly imperfect rhythm, their warm breaths mingling together until a cold windy breeze hits his neck and he remembers where they are.

‘Come on, let’s go inside.’ The older man’s eyes are still focused on the lower part of his face and Harry feels flattered, really, but he can’t help but snort and tug on James’ coat to get them going.

Just before the register, with two pairs of people standing infront of them, he suddenly feels James’ hand slide down his wrist and into his fingers. Looking down perplexedly at their hands, now fitted together like two puzzle pieces, he quickly realizes – _oh_ that’s what has been missing.

When he looks up at him, James’ has a shy but pleased smile plastered on his face. ‘I want to hold your hand.’, he says – the statement coming out more like a question – as his thumb rubs over his wrist bone. ‘Is that okay?’ He looks so unsure that Harry can barely stand it.

‘Yes.’, he answers clearly, wanting to make him understand he’s not just doing this to acquiesce him and for good measure squeezing James’ fingers tightly inbetween his. The older man immediately reciprocates the gesture and his expression is blinding this time.

After they go inside, James paying for both of them without hesitation – something Harry had tried to argue about once or twice before James explained _No, I don’t feel like I have to pay for everything, Harry. I simply like spoiling the people I love. S_ o he’s let it go – for now.

They make their way around, Harry observing the elephants and their little calf so long and fascinatedly that when he finally turns around again…James has the sweetest and most amused little grin on his face he’s ever seen. He doesn’t say anything, just swings their locked hands together like they’re sweethearts in the school yard.

While going through the reptile and amphibian exhibitions, slight goosebumps form on the back of his neck and he can practically feel the little hairs rise on his arms, but he’s totally not freaking out or anything…nope…totally not afraid of spiders.

‘Look at the legs on this one’, James says, pointing to a moderately large and frighteningly green looking spider hiding in the foliage behind the glass. He doesn’t want to, but his boyfriend looks so excited that he can’t help it, so he gets closer and looks at the creature. There are what look like thin black spikes coming out of its legs. It practically screams ‘get away from me’. So he does just that, taking a step back again, and looking at the sign next to the terrarium. ‘ _Green lynx spider’_ it reads. _Venomous bite_ it says, right beneath it.

‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ Harry’s head turns so quickly that he almost pulls a muscle. He doesn’t bother holding in his scoff either.

‘Beautiful? Really? Well next time I find a spider in my room I know who to call then.’ James’ eyes light up as he realizes what’s going on

‘You’re not afraid of spiders are you?’

‘Pssh. No, of course not. I’m a grown man.’ He’s happy once James finally turns away from that little monster again to focus on him, his right hand rubbing Harry’s hip bone.

‘Mmh. Very manly.’ His grin looks gorgeous framed by his beard as he looks quickly back at the spider ony more time before his eyes rest back on him. ‘Let’s get ouf of here. I much prefer your legs to this guy’s anyway. All soft and wrapped around my waist when we-‘

‘Okay…that’s enough from you.’ Harry pulls them outside of the room, hoping the cold air will cool down his red cheeks. James’ cackle still accompanying them for a couple of steps.

They take their time, trying to find each and every animal in their enclosure. James taking plenty of snapshots with his phone.

‘Wait, I think I’m in the way.’, he says as he sees the other man angling the camera towards the sea lions.

‘That’s the point, love. I want you to be in the way.’ He can barely blink before the photo’s already taken, the phone already tucked away again in James’ backpocket. ‘For when I feel alone at night.’

He saunters over towards him, crossing the short distance easily, wanting to be close to him. ‘I’ll have to make sure to come over even more often then, can’t have you replacing me with a picture now, can I?’ A silent promise is shared between them and when James leans down to kiss his cheek it feels like they’ve made a pact.

Towards the end, Harry’s nose is starting to tingle from the cold but he won’t let that deter him from enjoying the petting zoo area. Goats, sheeps, donkeys and miniature horses pressing their faces through the barriers, waiting to be fed while a small group of kids stretch out their little hands to brush over the soft-looking fur.

‘You wanna feed them?’, James asks, tilting his head towards the food dispenser.

‘Nah, I think they’re getting enough already. Just wanna watch. And touch.’

‘Watch and touch. My two favourite things to do with you.’ Harry reflexively elbows him into his ribs.

‘There are children around.’

‘I know…which is why your violent attack just now really shocked me.’ The sarcasm is practically dripping from his lips.

Harry tugs them closer to the fence, glad their hands are still clasped together as neither of them thought gloves would be necessary in October yet, and begins to pet the head of a white and black goat, it’s forehead immediately pushing up into his palm. In his periphery he can see James doing the same to one of the young lambs.

‘Mommy, those two boys are holding hands!’ It pulls him out of the moment immediately. A young, shrill voice from his left interrupting their bliss.

‘Pssh…Laura. Come here.’ But the little blond girl, she can’t be older than five, is already running closer towards them, wrapped up in a bright purple puffy winter jacket – pig tails bouncing and then coming to a stop.

‘Are you boyfriend and girlfriend?’, she asks. Her chin so hidden inside the jacket that he can barely see her mouth, but he notices one front tooth missing. Meanwhile, James has gone somewhat stiff beside him. Harry peaks back at him and the smile is still there on his face, but there’s an uncertainty to it. Like he’s not quite sure what to do or say. Harry rubs the back of his hand and feels his pulse relax. Deciding to briefly let go, he crouches down towards Laura’s height.

Before he can answer though, the woman who he assumes must be the mom, comes jogging up behind Laura to gently grip her shoulders. There’s a slight panicked and immediately apologetic look on her face.

‘I’m so sorry. She can be quite forward at times, gets that from me.’ Her hair is slightly darker than her daughter’s, curling where it hits her shoulder. Her thin frame hidden benath a fluffy faux fur coat. She seems nice enough, her smile genuine.

‘That’s alright.’ And it…kind of is. He’s never really been in a situation like this, only ever experienced the occasional homophobic slur thrown at him while still in school. He’d rather kids be curious than hateful.

‘Me and my friend James here…we’re boyfriend and boyfriend.’ Laura’s eyes widen almost comically but a huge grin spreads across her rosy cheeks at the same moment so Harry can see that it’s not only the front tooth that is missing. He turns back to check James’ reaction and his face has gone completely soft and enamoured.

‘Boyfriend and boyfriend. That’s so cool. That’s like my friend Gabby at school, she has two mommies called Erin and Melissa.’ She stumbles over a couple words, clearly excited to share her knowledge. ‘I didn’t know boys could date other boys as well though..but I know now!’, she squeals, her wellies squeaking as she lightly jumps up and down on the spot.

‘Boy can date boys and girls can date girls, it’s all okay, sweetheart.’ Her mom brushes a strand of her out of Laura’s face and quickly gives both him and James a look to make sure she hasn’t overstepped. ‘Apologies, I haven’t even introduced myself. I’m Margaret, this little rascal is Laura.’ James finally steps out from behind him now, clearly feeling comfortable again.

‘I’m James, this is Harry.’ As they all shake hands Harry is this close to feeling jealous of Laura’s beige woolen (and glittering) mittens.

‘Do you also love James like my mommy loves my daddy?’ And there they stand - three adults momentarily stunned by a child’s innocent question. A question that’s easy to answer by now, though.

‘I do. I love him very much.’ Laura squeals happily again and he feels James settle his arm around his waist, just below his ribcage. They say their goodbyes after some more small talk, Laura still waving excitedly towards them for a couple meters, Margaret watching with a fond smile on her face as one of her pigtails becomes loose.

He slides in closer towards James in their half-embrace, pressing a kiss to his chin when they reach the exit area. ‘This was nice.’

‘It was nice. **You’re** very nice.’ A moment of silence before…’You know what else is nice?’

‘What?’

‘The fact that I love you and…you love me.’ Harry looks upwards to face him, his nose brushing his stubble, and the unadulterated happiness and content he sees reflected back at him is challenging the beauty of everything he's seen today. 

‘That’s a nice fact to think about, yeah.’

They’re almost at the car again when James leans down to whisper ‘And if you’re a good boy all the way home I’m sure we’ll find a way to make time for something…. **extra nice** in the bedroom. What do you say?.’

 


	3. 3

The storm rages on outside, big fat raindrops splattering against the glass windows. Wind howling like in a movie, party decorations being dragged along the floor and away into the air.

It had started subtly, a sudden breeze knocking over some glasses and vases here and there. Ste had read his vows, Harry trying to come up with ones of his own on the spot while focusing to keep the smile plastered on his face. And then the banner Tony had so very proudly created got torn away from the two trees it had been tied to, landing roughly on the heads of their guests. No one had gotten hurt, of course, but when the plates got swiped off of the entrée table and their shards landed awfully close to the last row of seats…they quickly decided the ceremony had to be stopped for the time being. He’s not even sure who called a halt to it. Maybe it was Ste himself. Or Tony. Or maybe even Scott. Harry’s pretty sure it wasn’t him – his mouth feeling impossibly dry and his bow tie heavy like a leash around his neck.

He’d watched it all happen, the rain fall increasing scarily quickly infront of his eyes. Guests abandoning their seats and Diane getting up to take his elbow and lead him inside the hall to dry safety.

The mood no longer quite as cheerful but tense, except for a few individuals (including Tony of course) trying to calm every down. _Everything will be fine. Just a little rain shower. Who knows, maybe we’ll get a rainbow after it, eh? How fitting!_

He looks around in a daze, sees Ste with Leah and Lucas in a corner – letting them play on his iphone to keep them occupied. His hair feels drenched even after patting it dry with a towel that Lily had given him from god knows where. He feels cold, not sure if this shivering feeling is only inside of him or if his hands are actually shaking as well.

Bright lightning illuminates the the dark grey sky once again, looking like it’s splitting the clouds in half for a couple moments. He stares at it in a combination of weird awe and fear. Not even thirty seconds later and loud thunder begins to come through, roaring and rumbling – he gets the impression the room they’re in almost vibrates because of it. For a brief moment he thinks it all feels like the end of a world a bit…like one of those cliché disaster movies from the early 2000s. He’s knows that feeling gnawing in his gut doesn’t only have to do with the weather though.

Large amounts of water keep piling up on the ground and there’s this weird moment where he remembers a school lesson about their town history, about how the canalisation system has barely been touched since the initial construction. For now the sewer grates are doing their job but…there’s this voice in his head that just keeps repeating _‘oh no’_ which is honestly _stupid_ and he wants to turn it off... yet somehow it’s also the only thing keeping him focused.

Fast-paced footsteps come up behind him, making him turn around. It’s Tony, his tie rumpled and crooked, his hair matted down on the top of his head. Diane beside him, the constant frown that has been on her face for the last few weeks seeming even more grim as her make-up has started to smudge around her eyes.

‘Harry, hey.’ His voice is slightly hoarse with the way he’s been trying to entertain their small crowd today _. Maybe I won’t have to sit through him giving a long sappy speech after all_. It flashes through his mind so quickly that he can barely register it. He feels like it’s written on his face in bright neon though, his worry only decreasing when Tony’s face doesn’t change. Then again Tony could always look at him and never really _see_. Not like…-

‘I just called the hospital, to cheek in with DeeDee, make sure everything’s okay.’ Ok, this is something he can talk about. A worry and emotion he doesn’t have to fake.

‘Sure, yeah… Is she alright then?’ He assumes if she wasn’t the expressions on their faces would be much more tragic.

‘She’s completely stable. So that’s all good. She’s probably the safest she can be, in the hospital.’ He stops to bite his upper lip shortly before continuing. ‘Though the nurse I spoke to said some people are having trouble coming _into_ the hospital. Apparently the pond has just started overflowing and the water is slowly getting into some houses, especially their basements. So people are afraid to leave in case it gets worse…I don’t even want to think about the damage being done already.’ _The pond, he thinks. Alarm bells going off._

‘Thankfully the police station had some of those large bags of sands for flooding situations still lying around from a couple years ago…let’s hope the residents around Weirside View and the Dog can at least try to keep some of the water at bay.’ Diane’s voice is shaky and he wants to say something, anything, to comfort her but _Weirside View, he hears. And he can’t be here anymore._

‘I’m..I’m sorry, I need to go…go and find my phone.’ He brushes past them without a second thought, heading for the small storage room where he’d gotten changed into his suit earlier. He’s pretty sure he can hear Ste call out his name but it doesn’t matter, none of this matters right now.

There’s a narrow wooden sideboard in the stuffy room, his phone still lying on top of it. The door has barely closed behind him when he grabs it, his fingers sweaty on the screen as he unlocks it.

Tapping the number on top of his most recent call list, he presses the phone to his ear and listens to the dialing tone and his own heartbeat – a combination that makes him more and more nervous each passing second.

_‘Hello. You’ve reached the mail box of James Nightingale. Please leave a message.’_

‘James, i-it’s me..Harry. Please just .. I know I have no right but can you please just let me know you’re okay?’ He stumbles through the sentence, his tongue feeling too heavy in his mouth. Hanging up again before he can make a complete fool of himself. It’s fine. James is fine. It’s just a storm.

Slipping the device into the back pocket of his suit, not even thinking about Tony’s pre-wedding talk anymore about how the groom should never have it on him in case of any interruption, he slides back into the main room.

The floor is slick and he almost crashes into Prince as he makes his way back over to the window, where a few people have now gathered. Their shoulders all seem tense, necks all turned towards the sky. Harry follows their gaze and sees that the previous dark metal gray has now turned into a proper black, a wall of darkness only broken apart at the seams by the sharp brightness of repeated lightning coming down to burst against the ground.

And then suddenly there’s a loud cracking noise somewhere left to him. He instinctively holds his breath, his eyes shifting to the direction of the bang, the power of it still reverberating in his ears.

Harry’s mouth goes dry as he looks at the scene – one of the long and incredibly solid wooden buffet tables has gotten picked up by the wind and ended up being smashed straight against the frontal glass area of the hall. The material has cracked, the lines running through it looking like a big spider’s web.

People around him talking more frantically now. Prince coming up beside him to take Lily by her shoulders and pull her backwards. ‘Get away from the windows!’, he says – urgency and panic clear in his voice.

Someone grabs his arm and makes him take a step back as well but he cant stop staring at the damage. Tree branches are shaking and eventually getting torn off, smacking into the surrounding buildings and into the earth. Somewhere in the back of the room he’s pretty sure he can hear Lucas whimper a fearful ‘Daddy, what’s going on?’

A bit farther north away in the village, a large burst of lightning hits a tree straight ahead and imminently sets it on fire, looking like a small explosion in the distance. Gasps and screams fill his ears but he can’t do anything, can’t speak, can’t move, can’t think anything but _James_. James hurt. James in danger. James needing help. _James. James. James._

It’s this relentless mantra in his head finally making him turn around and head towards the exit. Pulling his phone out again and trying to reach the other man one more time. Beeping and then….nothing. Fuck.

It shouldn’t, but it does come a surprise when his long steps towards the door are interrupted by Ste grabbing his biceps forcefully. He looks too pale in the burgundy suit but his hair is still perfectly in place and Harry wonders just how much gel he put in it this morning.

‘Harry, what’s wrong? Where are you going?’ _Everything, can’t you see?_ He wants to scream it in his face but knows it's only a waste of time.

‘I’m sorry.’, he says as calmly as he can. Despite what they’ve been through and what Ste has taken from him over the years, Harry doesn’t like hurting people. ‘But I really need to go.’

‘Go? Go where, Harry? What are you talking about? We need to wait out the storm and then finish the ceremony.’ He sounds so genuinely confused that it’s almost comical but laughing right now probably wouldn’t help the situation.

‘I need to go.’, he repeats – slinging his arm out of the hold and running towards the door. He’s pulled it halfway open already when Ste presses his palm roughly against it to stop the movement.

‘Tell me what’s going on, **right now**.’ Gone is the softness in his voice…and maybe this makes it just a tiny bit easier.

‘I really am sorry.’, he looks at his face, this man that he had loved and looked up to for so long and he knows he’s about to lose it all. There are certain losses he can deal with and others he can’t. He needs to do this. ‘I have to go to him.’

‘You’re not making any sense. Him? Him who?’ He thinks about how careless he and James had been at times during their affair, talking openly in the streets, him stealing over to his flat in broad daylight. Wonders if Ste is still playing the fool or if he honestly still doesn’t get it.

‘James.’, he answers. The air between them feeling frozen still. ‘I need to make sure he’s alright.’ Ste’s eyes widen, his eyebrows drawing together and the corners of his mouth crinkling downwards. His lips press together tightly just as Harry turns again to shove the door wide open, running out into the pouring rain.

The water sinks into him immediately, drenching his hair and pouring over his face. The cheap fabric of his suit and undershirt soaking all of it up and clinging to his body, running into his shoes.

He hears Ste running up behind him, shouting his name, his footsteps sounding like he’s stepping into a puddle with every movement forwards.

‘Harry!’ He sighs, closing his eyes before deciding to face him again. When he turns around he sees Tony standing in the door frame, watching what is now unfolding. He can’t quite make out his expression but he imagines it’s the usual disappointment and confusion that comes with everything Harry does that doesn’t fit his plans.

‘Harry, come back inside.’ Ste is suddenly standing way too close him, putting his hands on his shoulders. It’s probably supposed to be comforting but it feels more like weight he wants to shrug off. So he does, pushing not only his arms off of him but also moving further away from him at the same time. Ste goes rigid, his face set like stone. ‘Don’t do anything stupid now, Harry.’ He’s always been good at being condescending.

‘I’m not.’

‘Then why, pray tell, are you leaving our wedding to go see James fucking Nightingale? Our **wedding** , yeah? Remember that? The ceremony earlier? The vows?’ The rain and wind and dirt being picked up by the wind makes everything around him look grey but Ste’s face is getting heated and red, the veins on his forehead and neck beginning to show.

_Why? He thinks about waking up next to James after an afternoon spent in bed, kissing his cheek and pressing a quiet I love you into his skin. Thinks about sending him those three words before he’s about to fall asleep while his fiancé is showering in the bathroom. About Harry being able to stay the night because Ste had been out of town and having James above and then inside of him, breathing the syllables into the hot air between their mouths moan after moan._

Ste shoves him backwards, making him stumble. ‘Why?’, he shouts at him.

‘Because I love him!’ It comes out loud and clear, the way the truth is always supposed to be put into the world. For a few seconds it’s like those words are the only sound existing, the storm around them disappearing.

Ste’s mouth opens and closes, a bit like a fish with the the water still streaming over them. Harry looks over his shoulder, sees Tony shaking his head in disbelief.

‘I’m in love with James.’ It feels like ending a book, turning the last page before closing it and a small rush of accomplishment settles in your stomach. The smell of rain clearing his nose, making him breathe more lightly again.

‘What the fuck are you talking about? What is..what is this? Is this some sick joke? Some prank or…or late teenage rebellion?’ Ste’s fists are balling at his sides and Harry wonders what he’ll do, hasn’t challenged his self-restraint in a while.

‘No, no you’re not listening. You don’t understand.’

‘Then make me! Tell me! I’m all ears!’

‘I love him’, he reiterates, shrugging his arms out helplessly. ‘I think a part of me has always loved him.’ He’s tried to pinpoint the exact moment it happened but as almost everything between James and Harry…it’s been more of a marathon than a sprint, them taking their time with eachother.

‘Y-you’re sick, Harry. You don’t love him. You couldn’t possibly.’

_James stroking the hair out of his face as they share a ice cream cone out of town in the fading summer sun. I love you. Harry pretending like he’s not tearing up when they randomly decide to watch Titanic together, James only commenting on it by pressing a kiss onto his temple. I love you. The older man waking up next to him, his naked chest shivering and sweating, the terrors of the nightmare still framing his face – Harry leaning over so their bodies are pressed together, their hearts finding a common rhythm. I love you._

Ste doesn’t need to know all of this, Harry is many things but not cruel. There is no need to share these intimacies between him and James with anyone else. They belong to them only. He knows that no one can take them away now, no matter what he is about to lose.

The suit Ste is wearing looks almost black in the weather, completely drenched and looking heavy on his frame. It makes his face look whiter than usual, his jaw clenched and his cheeks flushed with anger.

There’s nothing he can say to fix this, even if he wanted to. He looks over Ste’s shoulder one more time, his mind made up, as Tony starts to come out the door completely and down the stairs towards him.

Shaking his head, Harry shouts out to him ‘I love him, dad.’ Tony’s steps come to a halt, unsure how to react. But Harry knows where he’s going and what he needs to do.

He turns around, starts running so neither of them will hold him back. Thinks he can hear one or both of them call out his name, but it get’s drowned out by the torrents of water splashing over him like a curtain.

The air has gone cold, the sharp wind that hits his face making his eyes water, his shoes squelching with each step. But his mind has never been more clear. _I’m coming, James. I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little journey with me. Until next time!  
> Thank you to everyone for leaving kudos and comments, much love x

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back to writing after a rough couple months of physical + mental health issues. I'm also aware that I still have a WIP to continue and I'm hoping I'll get to it soon - in the meanwhile I'll hope you enjoy this!


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